Regrets, Part Two (did I tell you that they kill?)

"downtown lawrence kansas in black and white"

My previous post is a sketch on guilty feeling or regrets that I believe every human being has to some extent. Regrets have withering power that sucks up life energy in your marrow. They are friends to the gravity and can slow down your bounciness to zero.

Today I watched a CBS video that features Mel Greid and Michael Christian – the radio DJ’s whose prank on a nurse in London went horrendous. They were on air for the fist time after the suicide death of Nurse Saldanha was reported, expressing their regrets over what happened. In the last section, the reporter said that a survey was conducted to 11,000 Australians asking them whether they blamed the radio DJ’s for the death, and the result was 2/3 said the did not.

Does the statistics put Greig and Christian at peace? Assuming both individuals are normal people, I will bet my sanity if it does. The guilt will stay even if the survey resulted in 100% of respondents saying they’re not guilty. Can the curse of regrets be broken? Can the cycle of guilt-stricken death be cut off? Can time heal the wounds this time when the “crime” has claimed a life in such a terrible way? How else can Greig and Christian find consolation? Asking for forgiveness from the nurse’s children? That’s the least the can do. Elizabeth in Eat Pray Love created an ‘illusion’ (this is debatable, of course, depending on how you see it) that her ex-husband forgave her, despite their long and tiring marital dispute. That way she felt at peace and ready to start anew.

Does surviving from regrets mean escaping from reality? Maybe that’s what it takes to sustain guilt-stricken life. Do you pretend that everything is all right? When you have regrets in your life, you sometimes do have to fool yourself to put things back in balance. Problem is conscience is too smart to be duped. If you regrets are your debts, there’s no other way than paying your dues.

I’m sipping my apple-flavored tea, thinking of ways to be forgiven.

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