and so

do you want this bread or not?
it smells like and gives the same effect as
beers you don’t drink
it’s waiting to be thrown away

when we were at the railings,
looking down at those fancy chairs
and napkins, and heads,
what were we laughing at?
the coffee that didn’t quite go
with me wondering if you
were a gay or not?
the occasion that was
almost as stupid as what it
turned out much later?
what i had read from the start
missing from your face and
your palm?
you were like passion fruits,
you noticed?

what we do. instead of.
instead of. you never did.
fun as always. pain as always.

i can only curse
i can only love
and hesitate in between

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